I wished that one gallon was enough water for the whole family. I felt sorry for him - he was so out of breath. My son managed to find a gallon - not enough, but better than nothing - and carried it up to the fourth floor. All the apartments in my block have modern toilets and bathrooms, but all the residents are looking for water. Kabul is without electricity for a third day. We don’t want to go home.’” Then, they said, the headteacher came to the class to say that the government has made a new decision.
They say they went to their classroom, but the teacher told them to go home. Two hours later, there is a knock on the door. Out of the window, I see girls in school uniforms with bags on their shoulders. No one has an appetite but I tell them to eat and drink so they don’t get hungry later.
She is not saying anything but I can see the worry on her face. I feel worried and happy for them at the same time. The girls are thrilled to be going to school. I held my head down, thinking cleanliness and style are now a crime. He said, “No, she was wearing trousers and her cuffs were folded up. I said, “But only some of her hair shows.” I asked the boy who was standing next to his fruit cart what was going on and he said the girl had style, and so the Taliban had stopped her. The girl, whose white headphones were sticking out of her black scarf, looked scared. Three Taliban members riding in a red Corolla had stopped a girl and were yelling at her. I continued carelessly on my way, and came across a crowd. Today, I walked down a dirty alley towards Pul-e-Surkh Square, the dust settling on the base of my thigh with each step. I know that cleanliness and style are not so important any more. I put it on today and left for a trip with my son, worried and anxious. I left it outside but no one touched it, so I took it back to the wardrobe. When I was tidying the cupboard just a few days before August 15, I took out the chadari to throw it away - I hadn’t worn it in 20 years. I bought it 25 years ago with the money for household shopping, when the then regime made chadari mandatory for women. I opened the cupboard and took out the bag with my indigo chadari in. When the authorities act against you, the public will also settle personal scores. She also says that he used to listen to her when they discussed an issue, but now he replies, “You have no business discussing these matters, just stick to cooking and cleaning.” But they are not to blame. He tells her that her voice could be heard with the previous government because the whole world stood by her. One of my nieces says that her husband’s attitude towards her has changed. I have to run away from here, a place where they break a promise every day. I want to be free, study, travel, work, laugh out loud. The Taliban have banned women from university campuses. Now that the Taliban are here, my words are just a pile of rubbish. My father told me that the ashes of all these books cannot be hidden, but if you soak them in foamy water and then wash them like clothes, no trace of your writings will be left. I go through my notebooks and manuscripts one by one and soak them in the hot water. I boil some water and add a little dishwashing liquid. The Taliban set about implementing policies that limit women’s and girls’ access to education and healthcare, and their freedom of movement and expression Zainab August 15 2021, 19:57 They think it will be their last day at school and that they will be prisoners at home after that, but if they leave the house, they might be whipped. I have to decide whether to let them go to school.
Tomorrow is the last day of my two young daughters’ exams. Why have they cut media networks if nothing is going on? Nargis August 16 2021, 02:09 I believe they will speak in the presidential palace soon and we will know what’s happening. Ladies who are in Kabul, stay calm and don’t go out. I have to trample on them for my survival. I have to destroy with my own hands the things that I value the most. As each sheet was burning, I felt as if a part of me was burning. I burnt all my books about journalism and politics. This message was like a sledgehammer - we spent the day putting all our family’s books and documents in a bucket for my father to set fire to. One of the girls left a diary message saying that the Taliban had started a house-to-house search, so it would be best to destroy any documents showing that you have worked with foreign organisations. I don’t think I can go to university again. Are you all OK? Samira August 15 2021, 08:09
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